Hello everyone,today I want to talk about obstacles in life and when everything gets a bit too much.We are all people with emotions and of course everybody is in different situations.Because every person is unique we all handle everything differently.I am a sensitive person and I was quite an anxious kid too,so that haven’t helped growing up at all.To be honest,there were some days or even weeks,when I just got home and cried,just cried and then I got to wonder,if that's a normal thing or I just overreact .But I think that crying relieves some of the pain.The best thing you can do in tough situations is just talk to people,that are close to you,that you are 100% comfortable with,but not everybody have that people in their lives.I was one of those kids.The only person that I was comfortable with talking about my fears and problems was my sister,but she moved out of the house to a different country when I was a kid.My dad also works abroad since I was about 5,so there always was just me and my mom.Of course I talk with my sister when she comes home or on the phone,but that's not the same as in person and I am blessed to have her in my life,because I know that she understands me and always supports me.My dad and my mum,I will admit,they are not supportive parents.The only thing that can justify my dad is that he was never really with me as I said,but I also never saw his interest in me even from the phone calls.He sometimes asks me how am I,but when I try to explain how I feel,it looks like he just doesn't hear me.And my mother is just all about herself ,she never cared about how me or my sister feels.As we say,we are thankful basically just for the material support,but we never had psychological support from her.So my biggest issue growing up was not having supportive parents.And life was really hard for me because of that,especially when I was a kid,because I was too afraid to talk to my friends about my feelings,so I felt really alone in life.And I sometimes feel like that now too.It doesn’t matter how old we are,but we always need support or just normal communication with our family.But I know that this will never change.My parents were like that since my sister was a little girl and she always tried to talk to them,tried to change the way they think and then she gave up.I also tried to explain how I feel and tried to communicate ,but they just don’t understand the problem,it looks like they don't even listen,so now I gave up too and I feel sorry for the time I wasted trying to change people who don't even want to change and don’t understand how they are affecting their children lives.I was never heard by my parents and constantly felt that my feelings are detracted,so over time I just began to hide them.I think that that added to the fact that a few years ago I was diagnosed with anxiety-depressive disorder.It’s really hard for me to communicate with people in person,it’s scary and hard for me to express my opinion to others,because I am scared that people will laugh at me or they will not understand me.I always feel anxious and insecure around more people or in public in general.Even though I always try to look happy,sometimes inside I don't feel like that at all.
Now I am trying to be as happy as I can.I try to go out more and meet new people and I am trying to overcome my fears.I am giving all my time and effort now to become financially independent from anyone and hope to be moving out in the very near future as I definitely need to get away and have a new,fresh start.We have this one life and we definitely need to make the most of it and we need get out of toxic relationships. I don’t know if I’ve managed to express my feelings and I know that this isn’t the worst thing and some people have much more serious problems.But I just wanted to write this post,because I know that some people don't have supportive parents too and I want to help some of you understand that you are not alone.Please write me an email if you have some questions or if you just want to tell me your story,I will be glad to hear it.Please remember that you are not alone.I feel for you.♥